Letters to the Wan and only!
Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...Thursday, January 05, 2006
Let me let go
Dearest Wan,
Here is another excerpt from the mail me mate sent to me (yeah, the same one - mail and mate - that i refered to in previous post):-
To be honest with you, I think you need to deal with that and get over her. Have you ever wondered why your previous relationships didn't work? I'm not saying I know...I hardly know about your past at all....but that may be one of the factors, that you never found anyone as special to you as her?
You really, really do need to deal with this....cos although that hasn't stopped you from going into new relationships or whatever, keeping such a strong emotional connection to someone (you will never have / probably forgotten all about everything that happened) will set you up for heartbreak.
Good stuffs-eh? There's more but if i put it all down here, this blog shud be renamed "Letters to me" instead.
But it's not. It's to you.
When i read that above-reproduced portion the first time, i smiled. i thot to meself - that would be a convenient excuse to cover wat a loser i am in me relationships. Yeah, blame it all allegedly on that i can't get over you!
And again, the more i thot about it, the more it sounds closer to the truth (or am i just trying to convince meself that it's the truth?).
I've tried to move on, Wan. I did. And i told meself each time that i must never compare her (whoever i am wif) wif you.
Looking back, tho, i may not have been very successful at that.
Save for the last one (yeah, the crazy suicidal woman), i've remained really good frens wif all the girls i've been wif. They are all truly wonderful people. One of them even called me up (long-distance) on Christmas morning to wish me a happy birthday. So sweet of her. i was a fool to have let go of her - and the other one too. (Yeah, contrary to popular belief, i've only been wif 3 others since you).
So why did i let go of them?
I can't think of any satisfactory answer. Which led me to the conclusion that perhaps, maybe, subconciously, i thought that they never matched up to you...
Why did you have to be so d*** perfect????????????
Being wif you was the only time in my life when it felt so right! No, it's not that i was blind to all your faults.
Me mate in her mail went on to say:-
You guys went out a long, long time ago and she's probably a VERY different person now.
Unfortunately, in the limited contact i have had wif you in the past few years, no matter how much i know you have changed, it doesn't change anything.
I met someone else.
She's wonderful, funny and so committed to the Lord. We clicked pretty well together.
Anyways, it's still early days - heck, it's still the early days of the early days.
But even then, i could hear the soft whispering at the back of my mind - "She's not as good as Wan. She'll never be as good!"
Will i ever be able to let go of you? Or will i just come to a point of time in me life when i'll just settle for anyone, knowing that she'll never be as good but knowing oso that i dun have a choice? You know me - i'll never do that. It would be so unfair to the poor girl too.
Remember that song from Evita which we used to loved? Remember that recurring question? I used to ask you the same question a lot of times. I ask it again now. Somehow, the answer is always the same.
So what happens now?
Don't ask anymore...
Here is another excerpt from the mail me mate sent to me (yeah, the same one - mail and mate - that i refered to in previous post):-
To be honest with you, I think you need to deal with that and get over her. Have you ever wondered why your previous relationships didn't work? I'm not saying I know...I hardly know about your past at all....but that may be one of the factors, that you never found anyone as special to you as her?
You really, really do need to deal with this....cos although that hasn't stopped you from going into new relationships or whatever, keeping such a strong emotional connection to someone (you will never have / probably forgotten all about everything that happened) will set you up for heartbreak.
Good stuffs-eh? There's more but if i put it all down here, this blog shud be renamed "Letters to me" instead.
But it's not. It's to you.
When i read that above-reproduced portion the first time, i smiled. i thot to meself - that would be a convenient excuse to cover wat a loser i am in me relationships. Yeah, blame it all allegedly on that i can't get over you!
And again, the more i thot about it, the more it sounds closer to the truth (or am i just trying to convince meself that it's the truth?).
I've tried to move on, Wan. I did. And i told meself each time that i must never compare her (whoever i am wif) wif you.
Looking back, tho, i may not have been very successful at that.
Save for the last one (yeah, the crazy suicidal woman), i've remained really good frens wif all the girls i've been wif. They are all truly wonderful people. One of them even called me up (long-distance) on Christmas morning to wish me a happy birthday. So sweet of her. i was a fool to have let go of her - and the other one too. (Yeah, contrary to popular belief, i've only been wif 3 others since you).
So why did i let go of them?
I can't think of any satisfactory answer. Which led me to the conclusion that perhaps, maybe, subconciously, i thought that they never matched up to you...
Why did you have to be so d*** perfect????????????
Being wif you was the only time in my life when it felt so right! No, it's not that i was blind to all your faults.
Me mate in her mail went on to say:-
You guys went out a long, long time ago and she's probably a VERY different person now.
Unfortunately, in the limited contact i have had wif you in the past few years, no matter how much i know you have changed, it doesn't change anything.
I met someone else.
She's wonderful, funny and so committed to the Lord. We clicked pretty well together.
Anyways, it's still early days - heck, it's still the early days of the early days.
But even then, i could hear the soft whispering at the back of my mind - "She's not as good as Wan. She'll never be as good!"
Will i ever be able to let go of you? Or will i just come to a point of time in me life when i'll just settle for anyone, knowing that she'll never be as good but knowing oso that i dun have a choice? You know me - i'll never do that. It would be so unfair to the poor girl too.
Remember that song from Evita which we used to loved? Remember that recurring question? I used to ask you the same question a lot of times. I ask it again now. Somehow, the answer is always the same.
So what happens now?
Don't ask anymore...
posted by imissw # 7:53 pm 
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