Letters to the Wan and only!
Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Can't let go
Dearest Wan,
I wanted to write to you about this fren of mine but I had been too busy lately. Well, I'm doing it now but it's gonna be a lot different from wat I initially wanted to tell you.
You see, I initially wanted to gripe about how she is living in denial. I mean, it is sooooo obvious that she's in love - or at the very least, infatuated - wif me other mate. She can't stop talking about him, she never ceases to praise him, she even tries to project her feelings for him to other younger girls. It started to be a lil irritating to us when they would just suddenly "move" into a world of their own - start talking like we are not there, move away from the group just to have private chats and laughs, talk about some "inside joke" and acting like the rest of us do not exist etc.
Why can't she just admit it?????
Then last nite, I got an answer.
She is not over her ex yet!!!!! It has been 8 months but it is apparent that she still can't let go. She shared (I'm not breaking her confidence by telling you this since you dun know who she is) of how she still keeps all the text messages she ever received from her ex!!!!! ALL OF THEM! When her mobile phone ran out of space, she would type them all out and save it in her PC.
And get this - she actually re-reads them! Even now! And she has tried so hard but she just can't bring herself to delete them!
So that's it, I thought. She is obviously attracted to this new guy but her heart just can't let go of her ex - that is why she is in denial.
And I feel for her.
The really sad thing is that she said if her ex asks her to get back together again, she would turn him down.
Aaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why? Methinks the problem is simple - she thinks too much. She has no doubt that her ex is and will be her soul-mate. But sumhow, she thinks that if they stay together, it will never work out due to some clashes in beliefs and priorities.
More than 8 months ago, I told her to hang on in there wif him - I knew certain people were trying to get her to break-up wif him (I hate those people - I hate people who actively can consciously seek to end other people's relationships). I told her not to let go cuz it is so hard to find a soul-mate. Surely the other difficulties can be worked out. After all, love conquers everything, doesn't it?
Well, as Debbie Gibson once said, "It's easy to give advice when your heart's not in it".
If I ever had a chance to get back together again wif you, you know I'd jump at it. Well, I'll never get that chance now - and it is hard for me to comprehend why my fren wouldn't jump at a chance to get back wif her ex if it ever arises.
The sad thing (and scary) was when she said "Soul-mates never end up together".
I was about to rebut that statement when I suddenly thought of you and me.
But then again, that's unfair to you. You have found your soul-mate in your man, haven't you?
Well, I found mine too. I oso have come to accept the fact that my soul-mate and I will never be together in this life.
I wanted to write to you about this fren of mine but I had been too busy lately. Well, I'm doing it now but it's gonna be a lot different from wat I initially wanted to tell you.
You see, I initially wanted to gripe about how she is living in denial. I mean, it is sooooo obvious that she's in love - or at the very least, infatuated - wif me other mate. She can't stop talking about him, she never ceases to praise him, she even tries to project her feelings for him to other younger girls. It started to be a lil irritating to us when they would just suddenly "move" into a world of their own - start talking like we are not there, move away from the group just to have private chats and laughs, talk about some "inside joke" and acting like the rest of us do not exist etc.
Why can't she just admit it?????
Then last nite, I got an answer.
She is not over her ex yet!!!!! It has been 8 months but it is apparent that she still can't let go. She shared (I'm not breaking her confidence by telling you this since you dun know who she is) of how she still keeps all the text messages she ever received from her ex!!!!! ALL OF THEM! When her mobile phone ran out of space, she would type them all out and save it in her PC.
And get this - she actually re-reads them! Even now! And she has tried so hard but she just can't bring herself to delete them!
So that's it, I thought. She is obviously attracted to this new guy but her heart just can't let go of her ex - that is why she is in denial.
And I feel for her.
The really sad thing is that she said if her ex asks her to get back together again, she would turn him down.
Aaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why? Methinks the problem is simple - she thinks too much. She has no doubt that her ex is and will be her soul-mate. But sumhow, she thinks that if they stay together, it will never work out due to some clashes in beliefs and priorities.
More than 8 months ago, I told her to hang on in there wif him - I knew certain people were trying to get her to break-up wif him (I hate those people - I hate people who actively can consciously seek to end other people's relationships). I told her not to let go cuz it is so hard to find a soul-mate. Surely the other difficulties can be worked out. After all, love conquers everything, doesn't it?
Well, as Debbie Gibson once said, "It's easy to give advice when your heart's not in it".
If I ever had a chance to get back together again wif you, you know I'd jump at it. Well, I'll never get that chance now - and it is hard for me to comprehend why my fren wouldn't jump at a chance to get back wif her ex if it ever arises.
The sad thing (and scary) was when she said "Soul-mates never end up together".
I was about to rebut that statement when I suddenly thought of you and me.
But then again, that's unfair to you. You have found your soul-mate in your man, haven't you?
Well, I found mine too. I oso have come to accept the fact that my soul-mate and I will never be together in this life.
TGV Sunway Pyramid
Dearest Wan,
I watched "Red Eye" today. It wasn't showing anymore at Summit so I had to travel to the nearest cinemas - the TGV cinemas at Sunway Pyramid!
The movie was good. Rachel McAdams was so good... and sooooo sweet! She has the loveliest eyes! :-P~
Anyways...
It has been so long since I watched a movie at that particular cinema. Do you remember the Coffee Bean outlet just outside the cinema? Well, it has closed down (or moved away)!!!! I was so shocked when I saw the Body Glove outlet there!
How can they do that to our Coffee Bean outlet???? How many movies did we watch in that cinema and how many times did we have coffee at that Coffee Bean outlet while waiting for our movie to start?
Slowly but surely, I find that memories of you and me are passing away.
I watched "Red Eye" today. It wasn't showing anymore at Summit so I had to travel to the nearest cinemas - the TGV cinemas at Sunway Pyramid!
The movie was good. Rachel McAdams was so good... and sooooo sweet! She has the loveliest eyes! :-P~
Anyways...
It has been so long since I watched a movie at that particular cinema. Do you remember the Coffee Bean outlet just outside the cinema? Well, it has closed down (or moved away)!!!! I was so shocked when I saw the Body Glove outlet there!
How can they do that to our Coffee Bean outlet???? How many movies did we watch in that cinema and how many times did we have coffee at that Coffee Bean outlet while waiting for our movie to start?
Slowly but surely, I find that memories of you and me are passing away.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Farewell party
Dearest W,
Hey, it has been a while since I wrote. I guess that's a good sign? :-P
Anyways, been busy wif my preparations to leave - and oso maintaning me other blogs!!!!!
I actually prepared a post just now for Holly's Café but after re-reading it, me decided not to post it there as some people will prolly be offended by it.
Here's the post:-
I never really like to be the centre of attention. Sure, I admit (and have admitted many times) that I love being on stage - but it's not so much of the attention I get but more of the love of acting!
If I go to a party, I'd prolly sneak in unannounced and hang out with my close mates.
So I was put in a difficult position when I received a text message this afternoon. The young adults in the church I attend will be having a home fellowship on the 25th and they (the committee) would like to do some farewell thingy for me. I was asked if I would be around.
Well, I will be around, God willing. But I dun like it at all. Why the big fuss? I just din like the idea of me being put in the limelight. I was thinking of ways to weasel myself out of it. Why can't they just say a prayer for me, period.
On top of that, ever since I left the committee, it is no secret how some of the committee members feel about me!
Well, I could skip the gathering! But the problem is that I would like to attend the meeting on 25th as that will be my last young adults meeting.
I had half a mind to tell them not to have the farewell.
But I can't. It's a Malaysian thing, I guess. Sometimes, the farewell is meant more for those having it than for the person going away. It's just like some Chinese Wedding Dinners which are held more for the parents of the couple than the couple themselves. Or the funeral which is held more for the mourners than the deceased.
If I say no to them, I would be perceived as trying to "tarik harga" (literally means "pull my price"). Um... how do I explain that to non-Malaysians?
Perhaps a simple illustration - Girl likes Guy. Guy asks Girl out. Girl wants to but turns Guy down, hoping - and wanting - Guy to persuade her. The girl can be said to be "tarik harga".
It's not that I dun appreciate it. But coming from people who never really bothered about me until it's time for me to leave, I can't be blamed for showing a lack of enthusiasm, can I?
Sigh... so being a nice guy (and putting wat I learned yesterday into practice i.e. as far as possible, live at peace with everyone), I told them to go ahead. Yeah, even if I dun want it.
It's ironic, right? But I guess if it makes them feel good about having it, then alrite.
Hey, it has been a while since I wrote. I guess that's a good sign? :-P
Anyways, been busy wif my preparations to leave - and oso maintaning me other blogs!!!!!
I actually prepared a post just now for Holly's Café but after re-reading it, me decided not to post it there as some people will prolly be offended by it.
Here's the post:-
I never really like to be the centre of attention. Sure, I admit (and have admitted many times) that I love being on stage - but it's not so much of the attention I get but more of the love of acting!
If I go to a party, I'd prolly sneak in unannounced and hang out with my close mates.
So I was put in a difficult position when I received a text message this afternoon. The young adults in the church I attend will be having a home fellowship on the 25th and they (the committee) would like to do some farewell thingy for me. I was asked if I would be around.
Well, I will be around, God willing. But I dun like it at all. Why the big fuss? I just din like the idea of me being put in the limelight. I was thinking of ways to weasel myself out of it. Why can't they just say a prayer for me, period.
On top of that, ever since I left the committee, it is no secret how some of the committee members feel about me!
Well, I could skip the gathering! But the problem is that I would like to attend the meeting on 25th as that will be my last young adults meeting.
I had half a mind to tell them not to have the farewell.
But I can't. It's a Malaysian thing, I guess. Sometimes, the farewell is meant more for those having it than for the person going away. It's just like some Chinese Wedding Dinners which are held more for the parents of the couple than the couple themselves. Or the funeral which is held more for the mourners than the deceased.
If I say no to them, I would be perceived as trying to "tarik harga" (literally means "pull my price"). Um... how do I explain that to non-Malaysians?
Perhaps a simple illustration - Girl likes Guy. Guy asks Girl out. Girl wants to but turns Guy down, hoping - and wanting - Guy to persuade her. The girl can be said to be "tarik harga".
It's not that I dun appreciate it. But coming from people who never really bothered about me until it's time for me to leave, I can't be blamed for showing a lack of enthusiasm, can I?
Sigh... so being a nice guy (and putting wat I learned yesterday into practice i.e. as far as possible, live at peace with everyone), I told them to go ahead. Yeah, even if I dun want it.
It's ironic, right? But I guess if it makes them feel good about having it, then alrite.
Monday, September 05, 2005
Chemistry
Dearest Wan,
I got an e-mail from a mate of mine. She was basically telling me wat a wonderful person this other sister is and how she thinks that this sister and me "...will be fab together"!!!
I replied telling her that there has to be more than just common traits and interest. Sure, I like that particualar sister and do enjoy talking to her to some extent. But that's it. It surely can't be a check-list that I tick in order to find someone to go out wif.
There has to be "chemistry"!
In reply to my reply, this mate asked wat I meant by "chemistry". She asked:-
"Chemistry? Are we talking physical chemistry (zap zap) or more like the fact that when you start talking, hours can slip away and the next thing you know it's 4 in the morning? And after you just had dinner and movie together, you STILL want to go home and talk summore crap on the phone?"
I told her that it is of course the latter - and that the latter actually actually is an accurate description of how it was between you and me, how when we talk, the hours do indeed slip away. And after dinner and movie, we would always still go back and talk on the phone for hours. Yeah, that caused many a horrible day at work for me, being a zombie wif panda eyes - but a silly grin on me face!
I know I shud not use wat we had as a yard-stick for any potential relationships but surely I dun wan to just "settle" for anything less than wat we had! You can understand that, can't you?
Or did you actually "settled" for sumthing less than wat we had? I hope not!
I got an e-mail from a mate of mine. She was basically telling me wat a wonderful person this other sister is and how she thinks that this sister and me "...will be fab together"!!!
I replied telling her that there has to be more than just common traits and interest. Sure, I like that particualar sister and do enjoy talking to her to some extent. But that's it. It surely can't be a check-list that I tick in order to find someone to go out wif.
There has to be "chemistry"!
In reply to my reply, this mate asked wat I meant by "chemistry". She asked:-
"Chemistry? Are we talking physical chemistry (zap zap) or more like the fact that when you start talking, hours can slip away and the next thing you know it's 4 in the morning? And after you just had dinner and movie together, you STILL want to go home and talk summore crap on the phone?"
I told her that it is of course the latter - and that the latter actually actually is an accurate description of how it was between you and me, how when we talk, the hours do indeed slip away. And after dinner and movie, we would always still go back and talk on the phone for hours. Yeah, that caused many a horrible day at work for me, being a zombie wif panda eyes - but a silly grin on me face!
I know I shud not use wat we had as a yard-stick for any potential relationships but surely I dun wan to just "settle" for anything less than wat we had! You can understand that, can't you?
Or did you actually "settled" for sumthing less than wat we had? I hope not!
Sunday, September 04, 2005
One crowded hour
I just watched "The Alamo". IMHO, it wasn't that good. Yeah, despite the presence of Dennis Quiad and Billy Bob Thornton - altho I thought the latter gave a pretty good performance. There was this scene when he played the violin which was simply brilliant - you have to watch it to appreciate it! Just for that scene, I thought the movie was worth my time!
During the movie, one of the characters said this to his son:-
"One crowded hour of glorious life is worth an age without a name."
When that was uttered, I thought of.. you!
Really!
I guess the short time I had wif you in my life is "one crowded hour of glorious life". And that is indeed worth an age without anyone else in my life.
Thanks for the memories!
p/s - do you know that I still have the habit of waiting til the credits roll finish before leaving the cinema hall - just like how we both used to do after each movie? Even if I'm watching a DVD, I won't turn it off till the credits end!
During the movie, one of the characters said this to his son:-
"One crowded hour of glorious life is worth an age without a name."
When that was uttered, I thought of.. you!
Really!
I guess the short time I had wif you in my life is "one crowded hour of glorious life". And that is indeed worth an age without anyone else in my life.
Thanks for the memories!
p/s - do you know that I still have the habit of waiting til the credits roll finish before leaving the cinema hall - just like how we both used to do after each movie? Even if I'm watching a DVD, I won't turn it off till the credits end!
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